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[personal profile] jackscarab
So: context.

A decade or so ago, my mother's mother ("Grandma J") married the man she was seeing before both of them split and had long eventful lives with other people who died before they did. His name's Jim.

About a month ago, Grandma J had a Parkinson's dimentia episode combined with being fed up with staying at home all the time with a nigh-immobile husband. She, essentially blind, just up and walked away from the house. That finally, finally convinced Jim to concede to moving to an assisted living facility.

Well, Jim's in the hospital now. I don't know the full details of what's wrong with him, but given his age and physical state, he might be on his way out.

If he goes, that would mean Grandma J moves to another assisted-living place much closer to us. That would mean moving a lot of furniture, not only from her home but from her house. And a lot of furniture presents a logistical problem.

My mom floated the idea of my sister and/or I getting an apartment or renting a house for the express purpose of having a place to cram all that stuff. It's what she and her brother did when their father died, I'm told.


It seems to me that just selling the stuff or putting it in long-term storage is a more efficient and cost-effective way getting rid of it than moving out in order to keep it company.

If moving out were simply a matter of possessing enough furniture to live comfortably, I'd be gone. There's a whole darn house worth of the stuff in the garage, the shed and the back room, just waiting there for me and/or my sister. One hundred percent of it could vanish tomorrow and the only thing this family would feel is relief that we have free space again. If and when Grandma J moves closer to us, we will own approximately three houses worth of furniture.

I mean I'd like to have it all, in my own place, two years ago, but moving out usually requires a reason like "I make a sufficient wage in addition to my savings," "My parents have ordered it / requested it / suggested it might be nice," "I have a significant other," or "My current living arrangement has become uncomfortable in some way," not merely "The furniture needs a custodian."


Maybe Jim will pull through whatever it is and all will be well for a while. But I'll be recommending selling the stuff we can't live without.

... Anybody want a lot of tables and chairs and things?

Date: 2012-06-09 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nobichan.livejournal.com
I'm really sorry to hear that your family is going through tough times. I hope everyone pulls through okay. We've been trying to get my grandma to move closer to my parents for years now, to give them more time before Alzheimer's makes that time together...less valuable? Hard to know what to call it.

You were in the conversation and I wasn't, but "My mom floated the idea of my sister and/or I getting an apartment or renting a house" could be interpreted as falling neatly within "My parents have ordered it / requested it / suggested it might be nice".

And unfortunately I already have a whole apartment's-worth of furniture.

Date: 2012-06-09 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackscarab.livejournal.com
Thank you for the concern. It's always a humbling reminder of mortality to see a woman so lively become so frail.

And I didn't explain thoroughly enough about moving. My mom's idea-floating could indeed be interpreted as suggestion. In fact, that's how I interpreted it. But when I asked her about it, she made it clear that no, that is not what she meant to imply, because she knows well the financial situation which my sister and I share.

Our parents have never said, outright or passively, "You need to move." In fact, they have clearly and repeatedly stated the opposite. They are generous people who know my sister and I try as we may but are not awash in wealth. This does not squelch either of our desires to move out once it is tenable.

It's looking more tenable by the week, as our family comes into possession of more of Grandma J's assets, but right this moment money still trumps "ordered/requested/suggested." Oklahoma has cheap land value, but not that cheap.

Maybe we can construct a house out of all the furniture...

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